How do you solve a problem like a hearing-impaired Maria?

The Fulbright orientation in Vienna was followed by another orientation for all of the English teaching assistants in the country. I think there must be around 300 total, half from Great Britain and the rest from the states. That 300 was then split in half based on where a person would be teaching. My week was spent in a little ski village a few hours west of Salzburg called Saalbach Hinterglemm with everyone who is to teach in the western half of Austria. There were people from all over, but a disproportionate number of the Americans hailed from Minnesota. I was the lone Idahoan and gave a geography demonstration one night to the people at my dinner table by carving the Gem State out of a piece of meat; Boise was a pea; Twin Falls, half a pea. For context, I shaped my mashed potatoes in to Washington, Oregon and California.

We had numerous sessions devoted to teaching us how to be successful at various aspects of teaching. One on what to do when all plans are scrapped and you have to think on the spot, one on how to use cultural differences as a learning tool, etc. The final day was spent presenting mock lessons and watching the rest of our small groups do theirs, too. Not only did I learn quite a bit, I made some good friends throughout the course of the week, many of whom are stationed in and around Innsbruck. Someone described the orientation like a school trip with a bar, and I agree with that. The days were spent with everyone split up in to groups throughout this big hotel and the nights were spent at the little town’s only bar (at least the only one open that week). And it was a biker bar. The bar stools were bike seats, one was an old-fashioned sidecar, and there were antique American gas pumps around for decoration. Don’t let the hardcore biker motif fool you, though. In true Austrian fashion, the music selection was an eclectic mix of Euro club dance songs and others that came from the U.S. but fortunately worked their way off American bar playlists years ago (i.e. Spice Girls, Creed, etc.).

On our final night, each group prepared some sort of show to be part of a cabaret of sorts. That was good, but better was the fact that we also learned a song (well, I never got the words or the melody- so that doesn’t exactly constitute “learning”) to sing to Maria for her birthday. Maria being the Maria of Sound of Music fame. Apparently one of the teachers for this orientation is friends with her and calls her each year at her home in Vermont to have the English TAs sing to her for her birthday. She didn’t answer this year, and he assumes it’s because her hearing is going bad. I thought it would have been better if we sang the Lonely Goatherd or Do-Re-Mi. I’m sure she’s never heard either of those before.

The orientation ended on Friday morning and all of the young English speakers packed their bags, hauled them to the bus in the rain and set off for the train station. Group by group, we departed for our various cities around western Austria. There were six of us stationed in Innsbruck so we made the trip together. I got into town and found my way to the university housing office, where I was to get my housing assignment. I was placed in a dorm that I’m pretty happy with. It’s about a six-minute commute to the downtown Innsbruck by bus, or I can walk it in about 20. My room is fine. Two beds, an entry room, and a bathroom I’ll share with my roommate.

When I got there, the two people who’d lived there this summer were packing their bags to leave. One was an Austrian student who was moving upstairs to a single, the other was a middle-aged Chinese man who’d been in Innsbruck for a year doing work (?). The Austrian guy was gone by the time I got back that night so I took over his half of the room. The Chinese guy was there through the weekend but I went to bed before he got home and left before he got up, so we never interacted. Monday morning, however, was his flight back home so he was up soon after I was. I had gone down to the kitchen to make some breakfast (I am meeting lots of people in my dorm kitchen, speaking German with all of them, and I've only been railed once for American politics), so I came back and could hear him in the bathroom, knocked on the door to say goodbye and wish him safe travels, and he opens up, ass naked, and continues to thank me for the well-wishes and explain that he's leaving behind toilet cleaner if I need it. It was great.

Yesterday I took the bus out to Kematen, where I’ll be teaching, to meet the teachers. I’d gone out the day before to find the school and successfully got lost. It’s a good thing I didn’t save all that until my first day of teaching. I’d been instructed to keep going down this one road for a long time; that “it will seem like you’ve gone too far, but you haven’t.” So I kept that in mind and walked out of town- in the wrong direction. My instructions were true, but I had to start on the right street. The English teachers at my school, Georg and Andreas, are great. I think it’s going to be a good ol’ time working with them. I didn’t teach my first lesson that day, but got a feeling for what work will be like for the rest of the year.

After Kematen, I was a man about Innsbruck opening my bank account, registering at the university, registering for classes, registering with the authorities, etc. The best stop was the university. They have color-coded footprints leading all the clueless new students (me) to the offices they need to go to. I was told to follow the orange ones at first, which led into the basement, to an unmarked door where the feet stopped. I continued, though, through abandoned storage hallways, up and down stairs, and out another door at the back of the building. I think this was just a cruel trick on the unsuspecting. Anyway, I finally got my act together and got in line to get my picture taken for my student ID. The kid taking the picture was great. Awesome B.O., greasy, long black hair, an enormous white t-shirt, and he was very bossy. He was yelling at everyone to get in line and get ready for him to photograph them, and he was screaming while I was in the spotlight, so I was trying not to laugh, and now my picture makes me look like a contemplative serial killer.

Today was my first day of teaching and I liked it. I did five lessons in a row so I was tired, but in exchange for a few long days in the middle of the week, I don’t have to work Mondays or Fridays. And I’m not complaining about that. I’ll probably have a class at the university one of those days so I’ll have three- instead of four-day weekends. The university has buildings spread out around town, but the main campus is right on the Inn River and not far from where I live. I can use the Internet there for free since I don’t have it in my room yet. There is supposedly wireless outside, but it’s yet to work for me. I thought I would be/look really cool if I sat on the river wall and wrote e-mails, etc., but then I assumed I would probably pull a real smooth one and accidentally drop my computer in the river below. THAT would be really cool.

Back to the dorm. No teaching tomorrow, so the night holds a million Austrian opportunities.